What I was feeling...

What I felt the day I got hit is very hard to explain. I thought that running to Tom would allow me to be with him for the rest of my life and finally be truly happy, but instead it got me killed. I ran to him in hope of better things, but it only made things worse. I felt hurt and upset. Little did I know that it was Tom's awful wife, Daisy that struck me with that hideous car. Yes, I am just a tad angry. I don't think that she knew of my relationship with Tom, but she surely did come out on top in this case. I was feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions that day that Daisy murdered me with the help of a several ton car. The feeling of laying in the middle of the street dying was hard to grasp. I was sad that I would never be able to live happily with Tom most of all. I was enraged by the fact that Daisy had the audacity to do a hit and run as if I were just some worthless animal that had now become another piece of roadkill. How could someone be so heartless as to not even stop after hitting another human being...especially if the impact was severe enough to kill them. Human beings can be ruthless sometimes; especially emotional women. I just wish I could have gotten the chance to say my last goodbye to Tom...

Why I...

Finally the day came that George confronted me about my secret lover. He found the collar for my new puppy in the garage and partly I was happy that he finally knew that I was having an affair. Obviously the hints that I have been trying to give him based on my true feelings for him were not good enough to get it into his head that I did not love him any longer. As George yelled at me at the top of his lungs, all I could think about was Tom. I heard a loud car roaring up the road and as I looked out the window I saw a little yellow car rumbling up the road in the distance. Suddenly I remembered that Tom had been driving that car earlier today when he came into the garage and he had been talking about the new car that he just purchased, which I assumed was the yellow one. I stormed past George and ignored everything that he was saying to me. I ran as fast as I could out of the garage and into the street waving my hands, hoping that Tom would see me and stop. I ran towards him because I felt that he was the only one that could save me. Honestly, I was afraid to be around George any longer. I had never seen him so enraged as he was...he turned into an uncontrollable beast that I did not know. Tom was the only one I truly felt safe and happy with. I wanted to run away from George and all of my problems with him. Tom was the one I truly loved and I wanted no one else but him. I ran like the wind hoping to reach my future.

What I was thinking...

You might wonder why I didn't have more respect for Tom and Daisy's marriage when I called at dinner time. It wasn't a matter of not having respect, although I couldn't stand to see them married any longer. I just couldn't bear not seeing or talking to him. I needed him. Yes, it was unimportant and there was nothing in particular that I needed to address, but I just simply needed to hear his voice. I didn't think much of it and I did not intend to hurt Daisy. Even though I hate to see them together, I would never do something to hurt her. I have nothing against her, I am only jealous of the fact that is married to the man that I love. I thought that I could quickly call him without her knowing anything of it and just share a few words briefly. I just wanted so much to hear that he wanted in return what I wanted from our relationship. I did not think that he would blow me off and be angry with me for calling him at dinner time. How could he think that I did not have respect for him? I was not disrespecting him; if anything, he should have felt happy that I wanted to call him as often as I had. I guess some part of me is sorry that I interrupted their "family" time during dinner, but yet a part of me simply does not care; as heartless as that sounds...I love Tom and something as unimportant as their time together at dinner is not going to keep me from talking to him.

What I was feeling...

Soon after we arrived at the apartment that day, our friends joined us for a small party, but one of the greatest of my lifetime. What happened between Tom and I that day occurred in a blink of an eye, the memory of that day is a blur to me, but I can remember one event that sticks out to me clear as day. As Tom and I stormed through the apartment arguing over God know's what, I remember saying Daisy's name over and over again, infuriating Tom every time it left my mouth. Why I didn't stop, I can't tell you why, but I continued to say it, even after he told me that I had no right to ever mention her. It made me feel like I had a great power over him, which I liked considering he always seemed to have a greater force and power over me. Next thing I knew, I felt an excruciating pain abound my nose and blood rushed from my face. Tom had hit me. It was the worst pain that I had ever felt in my entire life. I not only felt the physical pain from the blow, but I had a severe pain in my heart as well. I felt betrayed and broken. How could someone I loved so much and have given so much of myself to hurt me like this? How could he stand to not only hit a woman, but one that he told that he loved? Suddenly my feelings of love and lust instantly turned into hate. I felt confused and let down. I have been sneaking around in order to make time for Tom and I have tried to give him all that I can and yet he would have the audacity to disrespect like he did, especially in front of our friends. How dare he! Even though I had this urge to run far, far away from this horrible enraged beast, I soon felt that it was my duty to forgive him. Simply forgive and forget. How could I possibly stay mad at a man that I truly do love with all of my heart? I started the quarrel to begin with so I suppose in a way that I brought this upon myself. Yes, I did feel belittled and betrayed, but I still felt that endless love that I had for this wonderful lover of mine. 

Why I...

That day I met Nick when he came to the garage with Tom was an exciting day. I surely do love meeting new people! When Tom handed me some money and told me to get on the next train and meet him at our apartment, I knew that something fun was in store. Why I bought that mut on the way to the apartment I don't really know. I wanted something different, something that the two of us could share in our apartment together. I thought that this would make us feel like a true couple by having something to take care of together..a sense of responsibility. I guess in a way I felt that it would make him stay. I guess you could say that is why I bought that adorable puppy on the side of the street that day. I was overwhelmed with excitement of seeing Tom and the party that was bound to come that I just wanted something new in my life, something I could call ours. Maybe to you it doesn't seem like a great deal, but to me buying that puppy meant the world. 

What I was thinking...

It's hard to explain exactly how I feel about my husband and my secret lover Tom. To be honest, thinking back to it, I am not too sure as to why I married George in the first place. The best way to describe it would be as an instant adrenaline rush...yes, at some point I did feel a sense of love and lust for him, but it was a short lived feeling. Tom on the other hand makes me feel like a new woman. He shows me different sides of myself that I never knew existed. He treats me like a queen and always makes time for me, even though it is in secret. The first time I saw Tom come into our auto garage, I felt a sudden rush of emotions. He was very handsome and confident and that pulled me towards him instantly. When he looked at me, I melted and I think that he picked up on that. Soon after we started meeting in our apartment, I began falling in love more and more each time I saw him. I soon came to realize that I loved this man more than I loved my own husband. All I kept thinking is that I wanted to leave my husband and run away with Tom, but he couldn't stand to leave that other woman...Daisy. I suppose it is what it is. I know that I am the one that truly holds that special place in his heart and I guess I will have to settle for that.