What I was feeling...

Soon after we arrived at the apartment that day, our friends joined us for a small party, but one of the greatest of my lifetime. What happened between Tom and I that day occurred in a blink of an eye, the memory of that day is a blur to me, but I can remember one event that sticks out to me clear as day. As Tom and I stormed through the apartment arguing over God know's what, I remember saying Daisy's name over and over again, infuriating Tom every time it left my mouth. Why I didn't stop, I can't tell you why, but I continued to say it, even after he told me that I had no right to ever mention her. It made me feel like I had a great power over him, which I liked considering he always seemed to have a greater force and power over me. Next thing I knew, I felt an excruciating pain abound my nose and blood rushed from my face. Tom had hit me. It was the worst pain that I had ever felt in my entire life. I not only felt the physical pain from the blow, but I had a severe pain in my heart as well. I felt betrayed and broken. How could someone I loved so much and have given so much of myself to hurt me like this? How could he stand to not only hit a woman, but one that he told that he loved? Suddenly my feelings of love and lust instantly turned into hate. I felt confused and let down. I have been sneaking around in order to make time for Tom and I have tried to give him all that I can and yet he would have the audacity to disrespect like he did, especially in front of our friends. How dare he! Even though I had this urge to run far, far away from this horrible enraged beast, I soon felt that it was my duty to forgive him. Simply forgive and forget. How could I possibly stay mad at a man that I truly do love with all of my heart? I started the quarrel to begin with so I suppose in a way that I brought this upon myself. Yes, I did feel belittled and betrayed, but I still felt that endless love that I had for this wonderful lover of mine.